One way I’ve made friends

You just never know.

It could happen anytime.

The opportunity to begin a friendship.

Friendships to me are something to be greatly treasured, and also to be carefully shared with others to create even more friends.

I have several tools on my belt that I use to make new friends.

One of the most important tools is the knowledge that the information contained within “How to win friends and influence people” by Dale Carnegie got turned into when I put it into action.

Reading this book is great, it continues to be relevant today.  Putting the information contained within into action is critical.  Only then can it become knowledge.

Together with this tool, I often employ humor.  It’s something that comes naturally to me.

You need to find your best skills and double down on developing them.

You must be genuine.  Know what you want to accomplish by interacting with each person.

Sometimes, I simply want to leave them feeling better about themselves after the interaction than they did before.

It depends on the circumstances.  If it’s just a short visit to the bank it’s my goal to leave them with a smile on their face, but not overextend my purpose and cost them any more time than the transaction would normally take.

If it’s just a short visit to the bank it’s my goal to leave them with a smile on their face, but not overextend my purpose and cost them any more time than the transaction would normally take.

If it’s someone on YouTube I admire and would like to get to know better, it starts with regular, positive, relevant comments on their videos.

You need to be realistic as well.  Don’t shoot for the moon the first time out.  I reached out to someone I found that I could relate to, someone whose channel wasn’t so big that they no longer had time to reply to each comment.

It takes time, and with a solid, fulfilling friendship as my goal, you don’t rush it.

This was how I came to be involved in the Japan vlogging community.

It is also indirectly how I met my wife.

I have made some absolutely awesome friends as a result of my interactions on Youtube. Facebook and Twitter have also assisted as a way to communicate with these friends, as have messenger apps.

I always have a target when I want to be friends with someone.

I aim straight for the soul.

All the armor in the world can’t stop it.

And what do I do with these friends?

I love on them like nobody’s business.

But it starts small and slow once you believe there is a basis for a friendship.

Too fast and you blow them right out of the water…sometimes right into space.

It’s happened to me.

The important thing here is to learn from each mistake and apply more information to your action.

There is help out there in many forms too.

Toastmasters is an international organisation that offers free classes on public speaking.

What you get is so much more.

If you can overcome the fear of public speaking, it pays dividends throughout life.

It could make it that much easier to reach out to someone that you could help along their journey with your own personal experiences.

I find that loving on people, helping them to feel better about themselves helps me feel better about myself.

It seems I will be dealing with issues arising from depression for the rest of my life.

It runs in my family.

So I make the best of it.

An episode of sadness for me now I turn into positive energy by reaching out to someone that has had a positive impact in my life.

I do this by writing them a very heartfelt message thanking them for what they did and describing in detail what their action meant to me and what I am doing as a result.

I try to do this as soon as possible when the thought hits me, striking while the iron is hot produces the best results.

This isn’t something to put aside and do later.  It will be considerably difficult to write to someone later with the same level of intensity.

Writing just happens to be another thing I truly enjoy doing, a way I believe I can best express myself.

You need to find your own strengths and determine how you can use them to develop friendships.

I was gifted at a very young age with the ability to understand the true power of what some moments of solitude can do you for you and your emotional and spiritual state.

I’ve had many moments of solitude.

I have much love to give.

This is a major motivational force in my life.

When Prosper Taruvinga made a friend request of me on Facebook I looked at his posts and I could tell this was someone I wanted in my life.

I need to focus on the positive for my own survival, otherwise I would be pulled under by my own thoughts.

Prosper is in the business of helping people discover what they are best at, and helping them develop this.

Those who know me know I’m very laid back…despite the occasional bought of anxiety.

But when I need to do something, I do it no matter how I feel…and I know I need to move father down the path I’ve been traveling on.

This path includes making friends, helping them to expand their social life, and to understand just how much being a proper friend to someone can be to having a fufilling, happy existence.

I believe I have gone off on a slight tangent.

This is the norm for me, and it sometimes leads me to surprising places.

That book I mentioned earlier by Dale Carnegie.  It is worth reading again and again. Don’t let that title put you off, that book is full of gold.

Your path may be quite different from mine, but we can all uses friends to help ease the passage of time.

I understand that being social doesn’t come naturally to everyone.

There is a scientific basis for this, and you can learn more about it by reading “Social, Why our brains are wired to connect” by Matthew D Lieberman.  His work is well cited and can help explain to why it’s so important to be social.

I didn’t intend for this blog post to be very long, and I have already mentioned two books that are, in my opinion, worth your time.

I hope there is a little something here that can be of use to you in your quest for friendship.

Always move forward,

Robert.

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